Creative Journaling : Medicine for the Soul

Creative journaling has been an integral part of my life for over two years now and it is becoming more and more of a joy and passion that is difficult to put into words. But you know me and you already know I’m about to put it into a whole lotta words! 😂 Here I go!💃🏽

(most images are from the pages of my current creative journal that will be a year old next month! some of the pages are finished others are not, some have been debuted on my IG stories and most are being publicly seen for the very first time)

For me it’s less about fancy stickers and papers and pretty writing (although there is a lot of that and that is a whole lot of fun!💃🏽) it's more about captured memories, the words spoken in precious moments, the feelings felt in the present, and the story. Essentially what will accumulate to become -- the story of my life.

But first, let's back track!

I originally started my creative journaling journey in the early summer of 2019, about a month or two into a bought with depression. The things that usually made me feel better didn’t and I had a hard time seeing the positive let alone feeling positive. I had been through these seasons of depression before but this was the first time I had an especially dark season and I was across the globe away from everything I knew and loved -- everyone I knew and loved. I didn’t have access to my support system the way that I had had before, not just because of the physical distance but also the time difference and the distance that sometimes happen when you lead a life drastically different from literally everyone you once knew. This kind of distance was an emotional, and intellectual distance. My life experience was not like theirs and in some ways they were not able to understand or relate to big life things that were unfolding for me. This type of distance between myself and my loved ones at such a tender and painful time, opened my eyes to how truly important it is -- crucial even, to be my own support system, first and foremost. A concept that was a complete stranger to me at the time. Before it was always, " Lean on God!" , "Lean on your friends and family!" Never was it, "Lean on your beloved and capable self." At that point, I knew that I had gotten myself into this hole of depression by not being there for me, and more importantly — I knew I was the only one who could get myself out.

So, What do you do when the things that usually made you feel better weren’t enough anymore? Well, I decided to remain consistent in those things because ultimately I knew they were good for me even if they didn't always make me feel good in the moment. And, I also decided to add something new. I felt the not so gentle urging towards a new project that was specific to the season I was in. That’s when my creative journaling really began. Previously I had kept a copious prayer journal but there’s something about depression that just takes the words from your mouth and the energy from your body. I couldn’t maintain the journal as I once had because my depression silenced me and I felt I had nothing to say and no energy to say it. So, I decided to take baby steps. To not put pressure on myself to make it something extravagant or wordy. To make it simple, sustainable, yet effective. At a time when I saw more bad than good, it was imperative to me to have tangible proof of the good and in my own writing. To have something to refer back to in moments of feeling consumed by the darkness. Essentially I wanted a little light all my own, a light that would always burn on my darkest and my brightest days.

I bought a new journal to start fresh, as I felt that I needed something new. When it arrived I drew lines in it like a calendar and filled in the days of the month. The boxes were small, about an inch wide and .75 inches in height. I was starting small. I was starting at what felt accessible to me at that time. And what was accessible to me at the time was filling a box of less than 1 square inch. I decided that each day I would write at least one good thing in those boxes even if it was just one word. Some days, it was just a word, or two words like “hot Cheetos” and some days I had to write super teensy in order to fit in all the good of that day. No matter what kind of day it was, I made a promise to myself to support myself in this way so that on those days when there was just one word, I could look back at the other days with the barley legible, smooshed words that I crammed into a one inch box because so much goodness existed in those moments I just had to fit it all in.

Maintaining what I later referred to as my “moments in a day” book was one of the many ways that I chose to support myself during that difficult time. In addition to reaching out to the people in my circle and leaning on them for prayer and support, I also started getting back to the simple pleasures. Going for a walk on a sunny day, focusing on the sensation of the wind blowing through my hair, eating delicious food, appreciating the trees and the flowers around me, wearing clothes that made me feel like me again, sleeping more regularly, spending time with myself, going to the gym… all these things in combination with my journal helped me get through that time. And I can honestly say that had it not been for my little one word gratitude book I may not be where I am today. Not only did it help me get through that season but it later equipped me with the tools I needed to get myself through a global pandemic!

Creative journaling has taught me 3 really important lessons.

1. When you see more good, there is more good to be seen. A heart-posture of gratitude is paramount.

2. You are responsible for supporting yourself first and foremost.

3. Every version of you is sacred, every season special, slow down and appreciate who you are and where you’re at because sooner than you think, you’ll be someone else, somewhere else.

(Oh and bonus lesson! It’s taught me how to repurpose and waste less! For example things like using paper scraps, clothing tags, cards, and package wrappings rather than throwing them away I find ways to incorporate them.)

Today my creative journaling looks much different than it once did. As the cloud of depression began to lift I began to feel more creative and energetically available for more than just a few words or sentences a day. I began to add receipts from restaurants I went to with friends, train tickets and pictures of my travels, taxi fares, random drawings and cards my students gave me, tickets from different activities, popped balloon pieces from hilarious class accidents, stickers from when I received packages… Pretty much anything that correlated with the good things I had written for that day, I tried to add that little something extra to make it more real and more interesting. I bought a portable picture printer about 6 months into my creative journaling because I’ve always been a picture person and wanted to add pictures of the things I was doing, the places I was going, and the people I was loving.

Here's a little peak at my first creative journal -- first page (a single sentences, a quote, a few words) -- last page (smaller writing, writing outside the lines, pictures, ticket stubs, stickers, cards, sticky notes and look how chunky it ended up!😍)

This year I upgraded again and bought papers, pens, stickers, and two more devices, one that can print pictures on Polaroids, and one that prints stickers of pictures or quotes. I bought a new journal and decided to change up the way I organized it. Instead of drawing the monthly grid and paper clipping the extras, I decided to make the grid bigger so I could write more and keep two to four pages for the pictures, receipt’s, and so on. I also use it now to write my prayers and musings like any other journal that’s not just about trying to write three good things to get through but that’s about the wonderful life that’s happening. I also use it to document my hopes and dreams with vision boards and manifestations. No instead of just being my moments in a day book, it's my everything book.

My first creative journal was about survival, making it through a difficult time. It did it’s job and now it’s about FLOURISHING. Celebrating how far I’ve come and making each entry as magical as the experiences themselves or as magical as I hope future experiences may be. It’s about expressing myself in a creative outlet that not only allows for the documentation of precious memories and future inevitabilities, but also allows for a freedom of expression that doesn’t exist for me elsewhere. I write whatever I want, however I want, whenever I want and I never have to worry about watering myself down to make others more comfortable. I don’t have to be politically correct or polite or “appropriate”, I don’t have to pretend, I don’t have to worry if other people will think it’s cheesy, or weird, or ugly. I don’t have to make it aesthetically pleasing if I don’t want to. It doesn’t have to be eloquent unless I want it to be. It doesn’t always have to make sense. It doesn’t have to be anything it isn’t or anything in particular. Sometimes it’s random musings, and sometimes it’s poetry. Sometimes it’s telling a story, and sometimes it’s painting the story. It’s everything and nothing it all and it’s all me. Truly, it’s the one place I can be 100% myself-- unchained, without having to concern myself with how it may affect others ( because it doesn't). It’s one thing that is completely mine and no one can take it from me. It’s me. It’s my story. The way I want to write it. The way I choose to tell it.

The power that creative journaling has allowed me to reclaim is truly inexplicable. It helped me get my voice back. It helped me reclaim my sovereignty. It helped me explore my creativity in a safe environment. It helped me work through abstract ideas and complex emotions. At the end of it all, it had helped me live more fully and more freely than I ever have before.

I share this as part of the documentation of my journey yes, in fact that is the main reason I write this. And also, I share it to inspire you. I hope my story of survival, reclamation, flourishing, and creative expression serves as an invitation for you to do the same in your own ways. I hope it inspires you to start that journal or scrap book you’ve always wanted to start. To let go of expectation and comparison and grandeur and — just begin. Only good will come of it if it is in alignment. Give yourself the gift of romanticizing your own life! Of viewing it in the pages of your journal as an incredible love story / adventure thriller / grand mystery . I hope this inspires you to see the true essence of your life and to deeply witness the beauty of what it is to be alive.

Start that damn journal sis! Do your present self and your future selves a favor and be your own support system!💃🏽

Ok that’s all! 💁🏽‍♀️

Goodness & Abundance, loving you! ♥