The Treasures of self investment

For those of you who may have been watching my Instagram stories and following my posts recently there are several reoccurring themes. One of them being -- the importance of investing in yourself. If you've been following my journey a bit you've also seen a lot about a soul manifesto project I have been working on. This realization of investing in yourself actively is a direct product of that project. I'm super excited to share my story with you ladies and to encourage you along yours! 💋

Allow me to briefly explain the soul manifesto. Essentially its a living and sacred document declaring who you are as a woman, what you believe and value most, what you desire most, and what you choose to be devoted to. It's a poetic proclamation of beliefs, intentions, and manifestations. This tool is super helpful for a person like me who tends to be more scatterbrained about things. Sometimes abstract concepts are hard to wrap your head around -- hence the abstract part! This is a process that slows you down and gently nudges you toward your truth and being able to declare your truth to yourself and others. One of the many many realizations I've come to in the process of writing this sacred document is the concept of self investment.

For some reason I have always found it difficult to invest my time and money into myself. I have a history of being an extrovert because being alone was terrifying. I would constantly surround myself with people and social activities because the thought of being alone was too painful. Honestly you can ask anyone who's known me for years. I was always out of my house, I was always with friends and family, and I was always doing one thing or another. While being a social and an active person is a great thing that I love about myself, during my recent soul searching I realized that it wasn't as simple as that. Because of a history of neglect and abandonment and the scars that left behind, being extra social and active was really my avoidance coping mechanism. Avoiding spending time in my thoughts and feelings, avoiding being alone because as soon as I would be alone for whatever reason I would get really depressed. Not something most people knew about me.

With the world slowing and shutting down during the pandemic I was really forced to confront what I had avoided for literally years. I couldn't be with people, I couldn't be out and about, I could partake in social settings and activities. I was literally left to myself for months. I'm super blessed to be living in a country that recovered a lot faster than the rest of the world and I am incredibly grateful for that! My situation with the virus is much better than that of most of the world but I realized that just because my circumstances were better did not mean that I was better. I had that thought randomly when things started opening up again and I just kept repeating it to myself while I cried. It was so true. Just because the surface is fine doesn't mean the root of the issues have been addressed and resolved. And at any moment in time the circumstances could change for the worse again and what would I do then? In that second moment of thought I decided that regardless of my circumstances I still hold the power of living a quality life. From those two thoughts and that one decision I have evolved in so many beautiful ways.

(buying myself flowers monthly and wearing pretty jewels)

After having several good cries about it I began to spend time with myself more intentionally. I spent time praying, reading, writing, sleeping, cooking, cleaning, singing, and dancing. All things that I enjoyed doing in my alone time and that made me feel good and accomplished. I let myself cry, I took time catering to my thoughts and emotions. Something I would dread doing normally. This blog and my Instagram are direct results of having invested that time in myself and really taking care of my own emotional and mental needs. It was truly the greatest gift I could give myself! The gift of my intentional time! Something that I always gave so freely to others yet never gave to myself. Has that been the case for you too?

After really giving myself that time the last 6 to 7 months I moved on to the next phase of investing in myself (very recently) which is putting my money where my mouth is! It was easier for me to invest my time than to invest my money. Time was something I had a lot of during the lockdown and in all honesty I didn't have much of a choice at first when it came to spending time with myself! 😂 It's all I was allowed to do for goodness sake! Obviously that was a blessing in disguise that I am now incredibly grateful for! 🙌 While I had a whole lot of time, I did not have a whole lot of money. Actually, still don't. While my financial situation has improved since the lockdown, there was a 2 month stint where I wasn't making an income and now in my new job I have taken a pay cut -- though totally worth it! it's been a journey ya'll! 😂

In a way having less money coming in monthly has actually made me more intentional with the way I spend it. Funny how things work out that way! 😉 All that being said, at the beginning of this year I set out a bunch of intentions in list form (the soul manifesto is similar but more poetic and clear). One of the very first intentions I set was to invest in myself by taking a few courses that I had been wanting to for a long time! One of my mentors has a few different courses that she offers and I really wanted to dive into those, however most of them are not at all affordable for me at this time. To take the one I wanted it would take me 7 months of saving if I literally spent ZERO of my salary for those 7 months! 😂 So that one wasn't happening! But instead of letting myself be discouraged by that and just giving up on the idea, I sought out other courses that were more affordable for me at this time in my financial journey. ( still super wanna do that course and one day I will!)

(taking myself on the girls trip i wanted for months with me, myself, and I)

By taking my intention to heart and searching for alternative courses that better suit me at this time I have found such GEMS! 💎 Even though at the time I made that intention it was very specific to one course, just having made the intention and the willingness to adapt if it may look a little different than I initially imagined has given me the gift of exploration!

More recently I've been on a dance therapy journey and because of that I was able to find two different kinds of dance courses! One is for bachata which will always have my heart first and the other is belly dance which is a new adventure for me! The courses are pre recorded and online so I have access to the classes at any time and for life! Aka I can really take my time with them and have fun for the long haul!

Another venture that I've been exploring is called Human Design. I watched an IGTV with Sarah Bacon (my human design expert) and the moment she started talking about it my heart quickened and every part of my being resonated with and hung on her every word! I could not stop thinking about it for the next three days. I visited her HI DEF IG page all about human design and booked my 1:1 call with her. She was super kind, considerate, and patient with me in regards to the time difference which I greatly appreciated! 10 / 10 recommend ya'll look into it and see if it's something that speaks to you! The test to get your preliminary human design results is free but it was so jam packed with things that I didn't understand and I wanted to give myself the opportunity to really learn about it and turn it from knowledge to wisdom by implementing it in my daily life! So I spent money investing in my intuitions and I couldn't be more glad I did! She was so personable and kind and she explained the super important bits more in depth with me and in a way that I could really grasp and understand! It was sooooooo worth it! And she wasn't a stickler for the time which made it feel a bit more intimate and caring. After the call she emailed me the full results so that I may further study on my own and ask her question via email.

(spending intentional time writing out my emotions and manifesting my vision)

The latest course I purchased was such a STEEL! From that same mentor I mentioned before (Morgan Daye Cecil -- look her up on IG) with the rightfully pricy courses -- she recently came out with a tool kit all about the power of healing our gaze through self portraiture. AND it was less than $50! YES YES YES! So grateful! I haven't started that one yet but with some time off soon I plan to dive right in!

Another way that I invested in myself recently both with time and money was a recent solo girls day trip! Something I had wanted to do since November 2020 and only just did in mid April 2021! I always talked myself out of going because I thought I wouldn't enjoy it as much by myself or that I would rather spend that money doing something with someone! What the even heck! I should be the one I want to spend money doing stuff with! It was such a beautiful day and a half just enjoying the spring weather, a nice bed and bath, being independent, having a good time with myself, catching up on a few things I'd been meaning to do and really just re-centering myself and shifting my growth for the better!

If I hadn't taken the first step in setting the intention I wouldn't have any of these beautiful experiences I have now. If I hadn't taken that second step by adapting when it wasn't what I originally thought it would be, I wouldn't have discovered these other amazing women and types of courses. The next step is just reaping the benefits of all my newfound knowledge and wisdom, sharing with openness and transparency and continuing the practice of self investment!

That being said, I wrote a new intention in regards to investing in myself. To complete the courses that I am already involved in, to regularly spend time and money on myself with more intention, and to continuously follow my intuition in seeking out and taking new avenues of self investment.

(spending time outside communing with mother nature and my nature)

Some fun ways I am currently practicing self investment:

- taking courses to further educate myself and glean wisdom and experience

- granting myself permission to explore my spirituality

- granting myself permission to explore my sensuality and femininity through whatever means my intuitions lead me to

- developing my practice

-writing my soul manifesto

- spending money on girls trips with me, myself, and I

- buying myself flowers for the house regularly

- incorporating new prayer, meditation, journaling rituals in order to slow down and check in with myself weekly

- buying myself nice things

- keeping my space clean and more organized

- spending more time in the sun now that the weather is improving

- connecting with like minded, kindred spirits while nurturing my close relationships

(buying myself beautiful things that further my practice, this is my rituals lighter)

What intentions are you setting for yourself?

What ways are your actively practicing self investment?

Do you see the merit and value of investing in yourself?

Do you struggle with the concept of investing in yourself? Reach out and lets chat.

My prayer is that you invest in yourself today dear saints! Amen.

goodness and abundance 😇